What Questions Should You Ask a Divorce Attorney on the First Visit?
Here are the most important questions you should ask a divorce attorney before you hire one
The answer is in this guide as we give you over 50 questions to ask and the answers you should expect.
We divided this guide into categories. This will help you navigate this guide and, if you wish, go to specific categories rather than read the entire guide from start to finish.
This Guide on Questions to Ask a Divorce Attorney Is Comprehensive
We focused the guide on questions to ask about your case.
We did not get into the attorney's background. We assumed you conducted enough due diligence to ensure you are meeting with an experienced divorce attorney.
In some respects, how the attorney answers the questions we list below will tell you how experienced and knowledgeable the divorce attorney really is and whether the divorce attorney is a good fit for your case.
If you wish to have that first visit with us, contact us for an affordable strategy session.
List of Topics in This Guide
Here are a list of topics we cover in this question and answer guide.
If you want to skip ahead, click on any of the links below.
- Communication
- File security and access
- References and reviews
- Delegation of responsibility
- Cost of divorce
- Reasonable expectations
- Your living arrangements
- Temporary orders
- Child custody and parenting time
- Spousal support
- Child support
- Attorney's fees requests
- Divorce process
- Community and separate property
- Contested versus uncontested issues
- Settlement
- Billing
- Time management
1. How often will we communicate about my case?
If an attorney struggles with answering this question, he or she may be a poor communicator. Organized and disciplined attorneys have a proactive communication style that fits the particular client.
The complexity of the case does make a difference. The more complex the case, the more the communication will likely take place. A typical case has communication between one to four times per month. A complex case that is in active, contested litigation on a regular basis may have significantly more.
2. How will we communicate with each other?
Communication may be by telephone call, email, videoconferencing, and/or in-person meetings.
All of these are common in today's world.
The better family law attorneys communicate in various ways, as the client's needs change.
Sometimes, a short email is efficient and sufficient.
Sometimes, the situation may call for an extensive in-person meeting. You also have everything in between those extremes.
An attorney should customize the communication based on its nature and extent.
We believe dialogue requires verbal communication and an exchange of perspectives and ideas.
However, if the communication is as simple as passing on information, asking simple and straightforward questions or answering them, email communication works well.
3. What communication should I have with my spouse about the issues you and I discuss?
The attorney should explain to you the importance of the attorney - client relationship and the privilege in communications. The attorney should explain to you how and why you should not disclose attorney - client communications to any third parties or your spouse. This is a complex topic.
You will speak with your spouse about the divorce. However, speaking with your spouse about the divorce does not mean you speak with your spouse about what your attorney told you and/or what you told your attorney.
4. How can I keep communication between my spouse and me amicable?
You should strive for amicable communication. You should ask this question so the attorney can draw on his or her experience. An experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorney will provide you with the tools to communicate better with your spouse.
These tools include how to communicate with your spouse, when to communicate with your spouse and how to diffuse conflict. If the divorce attorney struggles to provide you with this information, you should question his or her experience.
Our divorce attorneys pay significant attention to communication. That includes not just the words used but also the tone in the timing. We provide our clients with essential tools so their communications with their spouse are efficient and productive.
It is true certain spouses do not listen. It is also true certain spouses take even the simplest communications and create conflict. The divorce attorney with whom you have the first visit should help you communicate with such difficult or even toxic personalities. The divorce attorney with whom you meet should also tell you when communication with such personalities should stop.
5. How will I receive copies of paperwork related to my case?
If the attorney is still sending all of your paperwork by regular mail, you should be concerned. Electronic communication does have its drawbacks and if a person is not careful, the person may compromise sensitive and private information.
However, in today's world there are secure ways to communicate and send paperwork. Secure emails are one example. Applications such as DropBox are terrific tools to communicate.
The attorney should explain at the first visit how he or she would send you paperwork on your case. If that transmittal is outdated or not secure, you should ask yourself about that attorney or law office's sophistication and technology and security.
1. How will you keep my file secure?
The family law firm you intend to hire should have a system in place to keep their clients' files secure.
Most family law cases, especially divorce cases that involve financial issues, will include documents with the client's Social Security number, bank account numbers and other private information.
If the attorney or law firm you intend to hire does not have a specific and secure method of storing and transmitting that information, you should ask yourself what else are they not diligent about.
2. How will I have access to my file?
Your attorney should explain how you have access to your file upon any reasonable request by you.
For example, if you want to see your physical file, you should make an appointment and come into the office to view it.
If you want physical copies of documents, the attorney should provide it.
If you want electronic copies of documents, the attorney should securely transmit those electronic copies.
The file does not belong to the attorney. The file belongs to you. The attorney needs the file to represent you.
However, that does not prevent the attorney from providing you whatever information you need from that file.
3. Are there portions of my file I cannot view?
The short answer is no. You should be able to view any portion of your file.
If the attorney tells you anything different, you should be concerned why he or she does not believe you can view any portion of your file.
4. Are there portions of my file of which I cannot have a copy?
Family law is unique because it is possible to have a portion of the file that is confidential as a matter of law or court order.
The most common example is a private child custody evaluation report. Although you may view that report, California law does not permit you to have a copy while represented by an attorney.
You may have a copy of the report if you represent yourself. These rules are modifiable by court order.
1. Will you offer references from previous clients?
The answer to this question had better be a resounding, "yes."
If an attorney cannot provide you with multiple references to former clients, that attorney may not have much success representing clients. The former clients should also be types of cases similar to yours.
I am not referring to a past client who also went through a divorce, but had a completely different circumstance from you. For example, if you have a high conflict divorce ahead, how much value is a reference from a past client who had an amicable divorce and never saw the inside of a courtroom?
I am referring to a factual situation and issues similar to the ones you face. Do expect the attorney will need to obtain one or more former client's consent before the attorney can provide you with their contact information.
2. Are all of the reviews and testimonials on your website from former clients?
If the attorney has testimonials on his or her website, you should ask the attorney whether each of those reviews and testimonials is from a former client.
If the answer is no, then ask yourself this question - what is it doing on the website and why was it expressed or implied as a client review and testimonial?
You can ask the same question regarding reviews and testimonials outside of the website and on other websites you read such as reviews on Google, Yelp, etc.
We believe it is dishonest and potentially unethical for an attorney to have a review and testimonial on a website that is not from an actual client, former client or someone who genuinely consulted with the attorney about his or her family law matter, unless the attorney actually discloses that fact. How many do you think actually make that disclosure? We have not yet seen it.
If the reviews and testimonials are from family, friends or other non-clients, ask yourself why the attorney did not explicitly state that on his or her website. You should also ask yourself about what else is the attorney being dishonest?
Check out the reviews and testimonials by our family law clients.
1. What people at the law office will work on my case?
You should know before you hire an attorney whether the attorney or attorneys will be working on your case or if non-attorneys will be doing the substantive work.
Do not underestimate the importance of this question.
If the attorney with whom you meet states non-attorneys will be doing a significant amount of the work, then that should in most situations concern you.
While I am sure there are skilled paralegals out there, we do not believe a reputable family law firm will delegate significant, substantive work to paralegals, secretaries or other non-attorneys.
What is or is not significant and substantive may vary depending on the case. On that issue, it is more a question of your comfort level.
2. Who makes court appearances on my case?
This is a very important question.
If the law office you hire only has one attorney, that attorney will likely be the one who makes the court appearances.
However, you should specifically make sure that is true. You should also question how the attorney, as a one-person office or even a two-person office, has the time to handle the paperwork and make court appearances.
Remember these small offices are also a business so there are administrative responsibilities separate from handling a case.
Ask yourself whether the very small office you are hiring really have time for your case or whether that one or two attorney office will be juggling a lot of different responsibilities in addition to your case.
In a law firm setting, the attorney with whom you meet may not be the attorney who makes the court appearances. Sometimes there are specific attorneys designated and law firms who handle court appearances.
These attorneys may not be the same attorneys who handle the various day-to-day paperwork on your case. This is normal.
1. How much will my divorce cost?
Are you surprised this question is on the list?
Some attorneys say you cannot even talk about the cost of divorce because it is impossible to predict. However, we believe that goes too far.
Attorneys, if they are experienced family law litigators, should know the factors that significantly decrease or increase the cost of the divorce. No attorney can honestly state how much a divorce will cost.
However, family law attorneys can give ranges, with the understanding those ranges are not exact and subject to those factors.
For example, if both spouses are amicable with each other, exchanged their financial disclosures, have no disagreements regarding custody, support, division of assets and debts, that divorce will cost significantly less than a high conflict divorce.
Check out our guide titled, How Much Does a Divorce Cost? The Answer is Less Scary Than You Think.
2. What can I do to control the cost of the divorce?
This is an important question for two reasons.
First, it will test the divorce attorney's knowledge and experience of the divorce process and divorce law.
Second, it will educate you on what specifically the attorney can and will do with you to help mitigate the costs.
Do not settle for a generic answer. If the only thing the attorney tells you is for you to be cooperative and reasonable, that should concern you. Instead, the attorney at the first visit should be able to explain to you what you can do in your specific case to keep the costs down.
Otherwise, either the attorney does not know or the attorney is not paying attention to the facts you provided him or her at the first visit.
You should save this question for the end of the first visit because the attorney does need to be familiar with the facts of your case.
3. What are the steps my spouse may take to increase the cost of the divorce?
This question is the reverse of the previous question but asked for the exact same reason.
There is certain stereotypical behavior we see from certain stereotypical personalities. For example, if you are divorcing a narcissist, you can probably expect certain levels of misconduct from him or her during the divorce. If you are divorcing an alcoholic or divorcing an abusive spouse, expect certain behavior.
These patterns of behavior are not a mystery. While nobody can predict what your spouse will do in every circumstance that does not mean you should not know what spouses similar to your spouse usually do in these circumstances.
1. How does the court typically rule on issues such as those in my divorce?
No attorney can guarantee to you a particular result.
However, experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorneys should be able to tell you what the typical and results are in cases similar to yours.
The more factual disagreement there is between you and your spouse, the harder it is to estimate the potential outcome.
The clearer the facts are, the easier it is to apply the law and estimate potential outcomes.
Do not confuse estimating potential outcomes with estimating the ultimate outcome. The California Family Code gives the family law judge significant discretion in many different areas of family law.
Check out our guide titled, What To Expect in a Divorce
2. After stating the issue about which you have a question, ask the attorney what the law specifically states about that issue.
If you have a question about alimony, ask the attorney what California law states about alimony.
If you have a question about a specific aspect of child custody such as move away requests, ask the attorney what California law states about move away requests.
Whatever is on your mind should be in the form of a question to your attorney regarding California family law.
Experienced divorce attorneys will not struggle to answer your questions.
Experienced divorce attorneys should rarely not know the law. The better divorce attorneys even show you the law in our codes.
We wrote a guide for husbands and wives on divorce in California.
1. Should I move out of the family home or should my spouse do so?
Moving out or staying is a personal decision but there are certain situations where a good divorce lawyer will advise his or her client whether moving or staying affects the divorce case.
Some examples include those situations where there is domestic violence, the potential for false allegations of domestic violence, physical or emotional abuse of the children, etc.
2. Can I kick my spouse out of the house?
You may have grounds to ask the court for an order to remove your spouse from the family residence.
If this is something you want to do, you should ask the attorney whether you have the proper basis to make such a request of the court.
The attorney should then ask questions to determine if you have the factual and legal basis to do so on an emergency basis or a nonemergency basis.
Read our guide titled, How Can I Kick My Wife or Husband out of the House?
1. What temporary orders should I seek?
Alternative question: What temporary orders should I expect my spouse will seek?
The California divorce process usually involves temporary orders that then lead to final orders.
Temporary and final orders are not necessarily the same terms.
There may be subtle or significant differences between the time the court makes a temporary order and when the court makes a final order.
What your divorce lawyer should tell you is what temporary orders make sense in your case. For example, does it make sense to do the following?
- Should you seek temporary child custody and parenting time orders?
- Will there be benefit in seeking temporary child support and spousal support orders?
- Is there a sufficient disparity between you and your spouse's income or access to money to seek an attorney fee contribution from your spouse as part of a temporary order?
- Is certain property in danger of being destroyed or otherwise in some form of default status? If so, does it make sense to seek property control orders on a temporary basis?
- Is there a family business that your spouse is endangering by his or her conduct? If so, does it make sense to seek temporary orders for exclusive management, control and use of the business while the divorce is pending?
There are many different types of temporary orders and which one makes sense for you is something the divorce attorney with whom you consult should be able to answer.
2. How does the process of getting a temporary order work?
The divorce attorney should explain to you the request for order process. This includes the following:
- The documentation required to file a request for order,
- How the attorney will file the request for order and serve it on your spouse or your spouse's attorney,
- How the court assigns a hearing date for the request for order, and
- Who is present and what happens at the hearing date
You will enjoy our page on the subject of request for order hearings
1. What is legal custody?
The attorney should be able to explain to you exactly what legal custody means including the difference between joint legal custody and sole legal custody.
Learn about joint legal custody and sole legal custody
2. What is physical custody?
Once again, the attorney should explain to you what physical custody means, the difference between that label and the actual parenting time and what circumstances justify joint versus sole physical custody.
3. What child custody and parenting plan makes sense for my case based on everything I told you?
Listen carefully to the answer you receive. The attorney should provide you with specific information regarding the different custody and parenting plans available.
The attorney should also provide you with information on the local parenting guidelines in that county, if the county has parenting guidelines.
Orange County, Los Angeles, San Diego, and Kern counties in Southern California have their own parenting guidelines.
Some are much better than the others are.
1. How much can I expect to receive in spousal support?
Alternative question: how much can I expect to pay in spousal support?
Which question you ask depends on whether you are the higher or lower income earner?
Spousal support, also called alimony, is either temporary or ordered at the final judgment. Most divorce cases include both temporary spousal support and spousal support at the judgment phase.
We are not going to go into a lengthy discussion about spousal support. We encourage you to check out our guide titled California Alimony Laws.
Instead, what you should ask and you should know is what your temporary spousal support payment expectation or obligation should be.
While the attorney may not be able to give you the exact, temporary amounts because he or she will not be able to double check the input factors against your and your spouse's actual income, the attorney should provide you with a reasonable range of spousal support.
It will be more difficult for a divorce attorney to answer your questions about the ultimate alimony amount at the judgment phase.
That is because the attorney would have to first conduct or have a proper expert conduct a marital standard of living analysis, which includes an analysis of Family Code 4320.
If your income stream and that of your spouse is simple and predictable, the attorney may be able to provide you with a general standard of living analysis.
However, any information during the first visit should be with a grain of salt until the full analysis is complete.
2. Is spousal support modifiable during the divorce?
You should ask regarding modifiability of spousal support, especially in those situations where your income or that of your spouse is unstable or unpredictable.
Based on the facts you provide to the divorce attorney, he or she should be able to explain to you whether you will likely face modifiability request or whether you will need to file one.
3. Will we need to hire a forensic accountant to help with the alimony determination?
The divorce attorney should tell you whether you have the kind of case that may require a forensic accountant's help.
For alimony purposes, forensic accountants help divorce attorneys determine controllable cash flow available for support.
Controllable cash flow is different from income. It is possible to have income but not have that income be available for support. This sometimes occurs with self-employed spouses.
1. How much child support will I receive?
Alternative question: how much child support can I expect to pay?
Similar to spousal support, the child support question depends on whether you are the one receiving child support or the one who expects to pay it.
Similar to spousal support, the attorney can run the computer program to determine what temporary child support should be.
2. Is child support modifiable during the divorce?
The question is very similar to the one you may have asked regarding spousal support. The answer may be similar or the same for child support.
3. Will we need to hire a forensic accountant to help with the child support determination?
Once again, the question is similar to the one you may have asked regarding spousal support.
Income does not have the identical definition for child support versus spousal support.
The divorce attorney should explain the difference to you, if he or she actually understands the law on this issue.
1. Can I seek attorney's fees against my spouse?
Assume your first visit goes into the following:
- A reasonable depth about gross and net value of assets,
- The amount of liquid assets such as money in various accounts with financial institutions, and
- Your income and that of your spouse.
In such a situation, your attorney should be able to provide you with your reasonable chances of obtaining a fee award against your spouse.
Courts base "need based" fee awards on Family Code 2030 and 2032.
2. Will I have to pay my spouse's attorney fees?
This question is the opposite of the previous question.
Assume you are the higher earning spouse and/or the one that has much more access to money to pay for fees.
The attorney should be able to explain to you what exposure, if any, you have to an attorney fee order against you.
Since the results are not predictable, the attorney will not be able to predict whether you will definitely pay some contribution toward your spouse's fees.
However, the attorney should explain to you the following:
- What factors the court takes into consideration,
- Which ones will be most important in your case, and
- What actions you can take to mitigate your potential liability to contribute toward your spouse's fees.
That last part may be the most important part of the conversation and is a conversation we regularly have with prospective clients with whom we meet.
The knowledge we are able to provide to our prospective clients at the first visit on this issue empowers them.
It helps them realize they have more control over the fees than they thought.
This is especially true if they are willing to make smart choices and avoid unnecessary litigation.
We wrote about this topic on a page titled, Defending Against Attorney's Fees Requests
3. What can I do if my spouse unreasonably increases the attorney's fees I incur? Do I have any recourse?
The divorce attorney should explain to you what Family Code 271 states.
He or she should also explain to you the different types of sanctions (not related to Family Code 271) available if your spouse does not cooperate during the discovery or disclosure process of a divorce.
If the attorney does not have a solid command of the law on these issues, he or she may lack the experience you need.
This is especially true if you expect your divorce to be contested and high conflict.
1. How long will my divorce take?
If you want to plan your life after a divorce, you should at least have a general idea of how long divorces similar to yours take. This planning will also help you prepare a budget for the cost of divorce.
The attorney should truthfully tell you there is no way to predict exactly how long a divorce will take. He or she should also tell you the length of time a divorce takes depends mostly on whether the divorce is contested or uncontested.
The more issues in dispute, the longer the divorce likely will take.
The answer however should not stop there. We explain this more in the next question.
2. What is the typical divorce process from start to finish?
Smart divorce attorneys will also explain to you how your particular case should go, including contested issues and uncontested issues.
While the attorney cannot predict exactly the steps from start to finish, the divorce attorney should provide you with each step if your case follows a typical path from start to finish. Even contested divorces have a path or pattern they follow.
Once a divorce attorney has handled enough of them, he or she is familiar enough with that path and its nuances to give clients specific advice on the journey and the different factors that likely will cause a divergence.
We write a comprehensive FAQ guide on the California divorce process.
1. What is community property in my case?
California Family Code 760 states, "Except as otherwise provided by statute, all property, real or personal, wherever situated, acquired by a married person during the marriage while domiciled in this state is community property."
That definition however is not very helpful to the average person.
At the first visit, the divorce attorney should explain to you what is likely community property in your case.
I use the word "likely" because there are facts you may not know and which may surprise you during the divorce.
Some spouse's do not know the details of when and how you and your spouse (or just your spouse) acquired certain assets.
Are you that spouse? If so, you may not realize certain assets are not 100 percent community property.
2. What is separate property in my case?
California Family Code defines separate property as the following:
"(a) Separate property of a married person includes all of the following:
(1) All property owned by the person before marriage.
(2) All property acquired by the person after marriage by gift, bequest, devise, or descent.
(3) The rents, issues, and profits of the property described in this section.
(b) A married person may, without the consent of the person's spouse, convey the person's separate property."
Exactly what we wrote regarding community property applies here.
An attorney should tell you what is separate property based on what you told the attorney.
However, there may be facts you do not know and that may change the analysis. You should keep an open mind regarding these types of issues.
1. What do you expect to be the contested issues in my case?
Toward the end of the first visit, the attorney should explain to you what issues he or she expects may not easily resolve. The attorney will base his or her answer on the information you provided.
You may not like reading this but it is important for you to know.
Stepping into a divorce with your head in the sand will not help you.
You will feel blindsided throughout the divorce, as issues do not resolve.
Stepping into a divorce knowing the likely contested issues will help you plan and prepare with your divorce attorney. This will increase the chances of a reasonable result consistent with the facts and the law.
2. When do you think we will resolve the uncontested issues in my case?
You should ask this question toward the end of the first visit.
By then, the attorney should explain to you the timing for the uncontested issues.
For example, if you and your spouse agree on parenting time, there is no reason to wait months before the attorney drafts a stipulation and order that sets forth the parenting time.
Be careful however on financial issues. Until you and your spouse exchange preliminary declarations of disclosure, it is dangerous to agree on support and division of assets. These situations are organic.
Let us take spousal support and child support as one example. It may make sense in smaller cases where the income is predictable and both spouses or W-2. In such cases, we can look at pay stubs and those pay stubs may tell the whole story.
The more complex the income structure becomes, the less likely quick agreements make sense.
1. Will I have to review and approve settlement offers before you make them?
The answer to this question had better be, "yes."
The attorney should also explain to you the process of preparing settlement offers and the collaboration that takes place between you and the law office.
2. How will the negotiation process proceed?
The divorce attorney should explain to you how the negotiation process works and whether he or she intends to use correspondence, mediation, voluntary settlement conferences or other methods to attempt resolution. N
ot every method is proper for every case.
The divorce attorney should also explain to you whether, from a first impression, you have the kind of case that will likely settle or proceed to court.
This is not predicting the future. This is the attorney being candid with you about his or her first impressions.
An attorney should not hesitate to provide this to you and you should understand situations might change because you cannot predict your spouse's behavior any more than your spouse can predict your behavior.
1. What are the hourly rates for the people who will be working on my case?
You should not have to wait to review a retainer contract before you know what the attorney and non-attorney's hourly rates are for a case like yours.
The attorney should explain to you exactly what the hourly rates are. If you decide to hire the divorce attorney, what the attorney told you should match exactly what is in the retainer contract.
2. How does the retainer deposit and any replenishment of that deposit work throughout the case?
Once again, do not wait until you review the retainer contract to ask questions about such issues.
You should know the retainer deposit the attorney will need. You should know what the policies are regarding replenishment of that deposit throughout the divorce.
The attorney may not be able to answer this question for you until he or she knows enough about your case.
Therefore, you can ask this question toward the end of the first visit.
3. How often will I receive a bill from you?
The attorney's retainer contract should explain this to you in detail.
Separate from that, you should ask this question so the attorney verbally explains you how the billing process works. You should then cross-reference that with what you read in the retainer contract.
If what the attorney told you and what you read are different, stop and ask follow-up questions.
Do not sign documents that contradict what the attorney tells you.
4. What happens if I have questions about the bill you send me?
We hope that the attorney explains to you how the collaboration process takes place if you have a question about your bill.
The collaboration process should include an easy way for you to communicate with the attorney or the designated person at that law office regarding your bill. If you receive vague answers, this may be a red flag.
The attorney should provide you with specific information in response to this question.
1. Do you have time to handle my case?
The answer to this question is probably yes. That is exactly why you should ask follow-up questions.
2. How many cases other than mine are you handling?
This is a critical question. Follow-up questions like this and others should get into the attorney's caseload and time management. Do not be shy about such issues.
If an attorney takes offense to you getting into the details of the time and attention he, she, or the law firm have for your case that is a huge red flag.
The elite family law attorneys do not overburden themselves or the law firm with more cases than they can handle.
Are You Ready for a Strategy Session?
Now you know the questions to ask a divorce attorney on the first visit. The next step is meeting with experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorneys.
There is no substitute for legal advice from and representation by an experienced California family law attorney.
We believe good men and women deserve great family law representation.
Contact us for an affordable strategy session.
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