When you were a child and needed advice, to whom did you go? The answer is probably your parents. As you got older, “friends” were probably added to that list but family stayed involved. Now, you’re going through a divorce. You hire an experienced and knowledgeable attorney like those within our firm to represent you. On issues related to your divorce case, who do you listen to for advice? Family? Friends? Your divorce attorney? It’s a trick question. Let me explain why and you will then understand the not-so-tricky answer.
If you see a medical doctor for a serious medical condition, chances are pretty good you are going to listen to whatever advice you get. Most doctors (like lawyers) don’t tell you what to do. They give you options. You then have to choose from the options and weigh the risk or reward of each. You may bounce the options off family but, ultimately, your health is your decision and you need to make the final call.
Divorce is different. Divorce is not a medical science. There is no surgery, no pill and no procedure that cures it. It’s a process and one where the result is often dictated by a series of choices you make (and don’t make). You can make foolish decisions and get a bad result or, with the same set of facts, make good decisions and get good results. There is no guarantee of course (I still have not met a lawyer with a crystal ball) but you have far more control over a divorce case with a good attorney than you do with being placed under anesthesia and having a doctor perform surgery why you sleep.
And that is the difficult thing that far too many husbands and wives, fathers and mothers don’t understand. Talking to family or friends and letting them guide your decisions can result in some poor choices because they are not in contact with your divorce attorney, they don’t know what your attorney has told you, they don’t appreciate the nuances that exist in your case, the application of the law to the facts and the details that only your attorney and the client (you) know.
Also, they may be too emotionally invested into your case to be objective. The best attorneys are objective with you about the facts.
Think of it as taking 5% of the story, leaving the important 95% out and then asking for advice. Family and friends may mean well but the ultimate decision and the one who should weigh the risk versus benefit and make the final call should be you.
Does that mean you should cut off your family and friends? Of course not. Their input can be helpful. But realize that your decisions in a divorce case have to be yours, not somebody else’s and not even your attorney’s.
The moment you take personal responsibility for your choices and realize that you are an intelligent adult who is capable of working with an attorney you chose and it is you two that ultimately have to make this case move efficiently forward toward a fair result, the faster you will achieve that result.
We know it’s difficult. We know divorce can be emotional.
But that is exactly why the attorneys at Farzad Family Law are compassionate and patient
We will advise you of your options so you can make informed decisions. Contact us for an initial consultation. Let’s lower your stress level and get your divorce case going on the right track to success.